It's been a long time.......

Funny when you have a life, how you forget out the blogging world. Okay, I don't have an exciting life, I have a busy day that happens 7 days a week and starts again without a day off. I think I have come to terms with the fact that I officially have to call this my life for the next 7 months and then I am free. I can't wait to be free, I need my friends, and my social life. My schedule revolves around my text books and it is pretty dang sad if you ask me.

So I guess lets catch up, I am in my last year of school, Nurse Channing is on her way. It has been such a awesome experience. I have wanted to quit this last year, but anyone who knows me knows I will show them who is boss. I put on my big girl panties and hit the books and decided I don't need a social life. I am so happy lately, something has changed in me. I have found a lot of happiness by searching for it and finally enjoying little things in life. I also found a person who is amazing, and really makes me laugh all the time. I mean not just a little ha ha, a full on throw my head back, laugh so hard I cant breath type of laugh. (I know you can all picture it). I am not implying anything, but I finally know what I have in my life and its so amazing to share it with someone who thinks the same.

I am not writing this to tell you I have a BF or that I am going to get married (Cause that is not true) but I am going to tell you that I found a best friend in a place that I thought I never would. Serving (and completed) a mission in this area over 8 months ago, and baptized my friend Chantel, and completed his mission and since he has been home we have talked constantly. Which is weird, cause lets be honest I just got done telling you I have no time for anything, but I do have time to talk to him. He pushes me, he makes me want to beat him in everything, he makes me want to be a better me, he dishes out compliments like it is his job, never lets me give him one with out giving one back. It just makes me smile to know that sharing the gospel brought him into my life, a act of service, brought me someone who I truly cherish. I got to see his dedication while he served, and I look back and I amazed.

I also with in my busy schedule signed up for two classes of institute and one of which is a marriage class (insert laugh here), but if i can be completely honest, it is AMAZING. There is a lot of things that are misunderstood or just plain old not understood that can been answered in this class. I attend it with one of my BESTIES- Kelsey. I love attending this class with her, she and I feed off each other and I know we have both taught each other a lot. Both in school and testimony. After all what do you rely on when everything else seems to be falling apart? I know who I turn to, not just in times of trials but in my times of happiness. I know at this point in my life the big M word is what I am supposed to be working for and I know this. I am not saying I know 10000 of men who want to marry me, but I needed to find out who I am, and I say that cause I put a lot into a relationship prior and lost it. So I needed to go on dates and date people in which I don't fall for but at-least I would be able to find out what I am looking for, cause how do you find it when you are completely lost. So this last year has helped me grow so much, and love who I am and I know I can do anything. I guess once you find it in you to believe in yourself, you will find others who believe in you too. Just have to get up and find out who you are and others will too.

A little quote I like to keep in my head is you will never find anyone who is a 100% right for you, you will find some one who will do. (this sounds like it is harsh,or that it doesn't believe in love, but read it again. it is true, no one is 100% made for you, there is always , "but they will do"). I found it hard to process at first but then I found out there is give and take (you cant like everything about the other person) and if I think the perfect man is coming along, I am wrong. I want the person who is my best friend, who knows what I am like at my worst, best, and stressed, this person can then sit down beside me and support me instead feeling like they have never seen this side of me.

Didn't mean for this post to be so long and unorganized but now at least you can have a little taste of what my head is like.

UPDATE: Scrubs, moving, and I can DRIVE!

So major update, I am in the middle of moving and I move in 15 days. I have a dinning room full of labeled, organized, color coded boxes. Okay, okay I didn't color code them but they are all organized. Chantel (roommate) recently bought a new house in Copperwood and for my last year of nursing I will rent a room from her. That way I don't have any ties at the end of the year when I graduate and I will be free to go to the states or where ever my heart desires. On to DRIVING, as of 12:00am on July 30th I was able to drive, but I worked a double shift last night, 16 straight hours, but did i mention double and a half time. So since I worked last night, I came home and slept and then headed down to pay the stupid reinstatement fee. After all was said and done I ran out of the office waving my license and doing a dance. I felt like I just got it for the first time. Now on to scrubs, I have or I guess had a huge scrub collection but due to recent events such as liposuction (kidding) I had to donate three garbage bags full. It was a sad time, but not as sad as fitting into sizes you didn't know existed. So I promised I would update the Blogger World, I know I am not dressed in normal clothes, but nothing really fits and I am off to the states for a week and I will be shopping like crazy. Which I don't think I will shop like crazy crazy because lets be honest I am not where I want to be, but a number is just a number its how we feel right?

Feeling Great!

Its update time, I basically am now starting to feel great! I am able to introduce all sorts of veggies and fruits into my diet, as well as different kinds of meats. I know it sounds crazy, but it consumes my life. Everything and anything I do revolves around my "Fitness" routine. At 10:00pm at night is my running time ( only because it is so hot out now ) and then at 11:00pm I am a situp machine, and I use this handy dandy AB Lounger, its amazing. I had some friends over and I said lets see how can do the most at one time with out a break. Needless to say, NO I didnt win! It was sad for me, if anyone knows my competitive side. I was told that I am obsessed, I don't know if I would take it that far, I know my inner self and I still a true fat girl, but who said that a fat girl couldn't love her outer self? I guess who knew how much eating great would make you feel great! I know that I have lost all sorts of cravings as, my family came up to Canada and my mother had all sorts of goodies, and yummy food around and I of course was sad and wanted to eat my face off, but in the end I didn't. Chantel's mom also came for a visit and our house was full of ice-cream, diet pop, candy, chips, hotdogs and all sorts of summer foods, but it was fine with me. I really found foods that I love and things I can make that make me feel full longer, and I feel great about my decisions. I hope no one takes this blog as rude, or preachy but I am documenting my thoughts and progress so I can look back.

You will notice that the top picture my face is chubby ( fat, full, puffy, etc), this picture was taken in may when I received the Wyoming sweater I am wearing from a special someone;). The next one is when I was in vegas. The reason I wanted to pair these pictures together was to see exactly what I have lost in my face. I have hated my as I carried a lot of weight in it, but now i am starting to see what it is I have under all the chub!

And the last picture is as of two days ago, our house is a hundred degrees inside so I have been living in my shorts and shirts, so when I get dressed for an occasion I will update the world of bloggers.

Not for the skinny stomach!

So if you are not prepared to see chub- a - lub, please leave my blog now! This is my before picture taken in April while I was visiting in washington. I will not write on here my starting weight but if you have eyes you would be able to tell by the picture! I think I was about 80 pounds soaking wet in this picture........ NOT!

This picture below was taken while I was in VEGAS. I am defiantly not at my goal weight but I thought I would document what I was before and what I was( at this point, anyways). This was taken in June around the 20th I believe.

This picture is as of July 13, I once again am not at my goal weight but I am working towards it. I wanted to make this post to document my progress and to allow me to see how far I have come! I am so thankful for my friends and families support. I will keep this updated, and seriously that first picture, I cant believe I actually posted it, and for those who will ask, no I did not photoshop any of those pictures, all the chub is honestly mine. HAHA!

49 days of SALAD!

Well I am sure that the title of this post says it all. I have officially began my summer get back into shape madness. All my medical tests came back great and so I am on the way to a slimmer me. I knew I was going to write this down and keep track of my progress, but what better way than on my blog? This way you can all scream at me if I want to cheat. So I have called my diet "Wrap it or Rack it" (i should copy write this). Basically no heavy crazy carbs, lots of fruits and veggies, and tons of water. I am on day 5 and feeling awesome, even had a 11pm run with my friend brittany last night (she is the one, that came to boot camp with me last year, and we are going again. YEAH) Here is a look at my food intake:

Monday:
B: Smoothie- one vanilla (low fat) yogurt), blueberries- fresh or frozen- as long as nothing is added to them, and a scoop of slim fast. I used my magic bullet, mixed it up and it was GREAT.

L: an apple and a few almonds- I wasnt really hungry

S: SALAD- ice berg lettuce, crasions, cut up apples, cut up pears, and calorie wise POPPY SEED dressing. - you can add croutons and mozzarella cheese to this salad, but I with held.

Water intake- 2300ML

Tuesday:
B: Same as above smoothie- but added fresh strawberries.

L: Celery and peanut butter- again not that hungry

S: SALAD- (i had to work evening and i had all the fixings already for the above salad, so I grabbed it and went.)

Water intake- 2600ML

Wednesday:
B: One strawberry yogurt

L: Grapes, and cucumbers

S: 4oz chicken breast with a green bean mixed salad ( is it a salad with out lettuce)- i used green beans, onions, mushrooms- and used a drop of olive oil and MRS. DASH for seasoning and heated it up in a frying pan.

Water intake- 1100ML- I was slacking

Thursday:

B: I woke up at 11ish so I combined breakfast and lunch.

L:SALAD- ice berg lettuce, spinach, apples, strawberries, black berries, with strawberry vinaigrette dressing ( SO FREAKING GOOD)

S: VEGGIE WRAP- I used onions, zuchinni, mushrooms, yellow and green pepper and sauted them up, got a spinach wrap (just one) filled it with veggies, folded it over and grilled it on my george forman grill. This was amazing.

Water intake- 2000ML

Friday:

B: One vanilla yogurt, blueberries, strawberries, one scoop of slim fast- Love this smoothie

L: One hard boiled egg and a few black berries- random i know, but it was tasty

S: ( I work tonight so I have prepared this already) COBB SALAD- ice berg lettuce, spinach, peppers, carrots, cucumbers, about an ounce of chicken ( seriously- just a little) and a boiled egg- just the whites. Now it is the dressing that can make it or break it so I will probably go with italian, as it is lower in calories than ranch. This is sad cause I love ranch!

Water intake- in progress


So this is what my week has looked like. I also have incorporated physical activities, such as zumba (which I have for the WII), going on runs, walks, walking the mall, sit ups, going to the gym and also I hit the stairs again... I love the stairs, I am sure this is why I have a rock hard butt.

I am seriously feel great, and i have not even needed something sweet, but I researched it and if you are craving something sweet you could have a soda that is made with splenda, and also found a recipe to make your own frozen yogurt- basically just using vanilla yogurt and fruit- blending it together and freezing it. Sounds so good to me.

I will post a picture of my fridge soon and you will notice fruits and veggies cut up and in containers, this has been so helpful to me, cause when i open the fridge it is already ready for you, you can just grab it and feel good about it. Well off to shower, got to go to work soon!

Always there...........

A 25 Thank you's to my MOM!

1. Thank you for being a hard worker and giving me all that you could. 2. Thank you for letting me make a mistake or two. 3. Thank you for being my friend even when I was rude 4. Thank you for being you. 5. Thank you for giving the greatest family I could ever ask for. 6. Thank you for yelling at me when I skipped school. 7. Thank you for showing me how strong I could really be. 8. Thank you for supporting in everything I did. 9. Thank you for giving me that "freeze the room" scowl when I was out of line. 10. Thank you for allowing us to have an open relationship, which resulted in you knowing everything (sorry) 11. Thank you for giving me 90210 bangs when i was a child. 12. Thank you for dressing me in one piece outfits at the age of 6. 13. Thank you for playing and singing to rock and roll music on saturdays mornings. 14. Thank you for laughing when I cut my own hair twice, and never learned. 15. Thank you for giving me family vacations that will always be dear to my heart. 16. Thank you for letting my second home be Kalispell. 17. Thank you for always approving of my friends, even when you knew better. 18. Thank you for allowing me to buy a car at the age of 15. 19. Thank you for making me into a hard working, money making machine. 20. Thank you for teaching me my self worth. 21. Thank you for teaching me how to cry at a drop of a hat. 22. Thank you for being one person I can talk to everyday. 23. Thank you for being proud of me. 24. Thank you for showing me that I can do anything. 25. Most of all thank you for being there when i succeed, fail, laugh, or cry. Having a mom like you makes me the luckiest girl in the world.

I love you mom!

My blog, my thoughts!

Caution: thoughts that I needed to share!

Two questions, One: Have you ever noticed that people around you alter there lives to look perfect? I am not saying I dont do it, but I have noticed lately that some people find it necessary to completely lie to them selves to ( I guess) seem perfect to the world. I am not sure why this is happening to the extent that it is, everyones lives are different and we all know that we are not perfect, and although we strive to be, it is obvious when people try over board in this department. I am more or less needed to let who ever may read my blog know that its okay to make mistakes, its okay to have arguments, its okay for something to seem completely un-normal to the world but be normal to you. Its okay to have different styles, different views, and religions, but what it is not okay to do in my opinion is lie to yourself that completely changes the way you understand the purpose of making mistakes and learning from them. Making the same mistakes over and over is a direct reflect on your self.

Two: Do you remember any or just one of your friends that you would do anything for and yet to this day mean almost nothing to them? I am being very wise with my word choice, as i am sure everyone out there who is reading this will think it is them, but if you have a doubt then maybe there is some changing that needs to occur. Not saying in mine and your relationship but even outside relationships that you may have. I find it sad to know friends who seem not to care about you or your feelings. I know that I have in my life been this person, but for the most part I say how I feel and i don't allow anyone to alter my feelings or walk all over me, but in my past i have. I do think about this from time to time, cause if you asked me right now who would be my best friend in which I would want by my side during all the happy times and especially the bad, I could not tell you. That to me has caused me some hurt, but i have chosen not to dwell on that. As I have been taught to forgive and forget, but is it okay to feel like I have exceeded my quota in that department? I don't know if this is making sense or if you think that i am PMSing but regardless take a look at your friendships, which ones are worth the good fight and help you stand in holy places at all times.

This post is a reflection that happened on my drive back from calgary, it helped me realize that the people I allow in to my life will really impact my life and on that note I have to give a shout out. Number 1: To my sister Joni, for realizing that she is worth more than she will ever know. Number 2: To Chantel, for strengthening my testimony as she allowed me to join in her new journey in joining the LDS church! Number 3: To Kelsey, to someone who understands, and who listens. Number 4: to my dad, the person who can make a phone call into a conversation, and understands trials! I am completely am thankful and filled with love!

Thats all for now.